Friday, December 25, 2009

"Have Fun This Holiday Season"

This is the message on the Christmas cards that my family and I received from my Ex-wife. The Christmas card had a picture of my children who my family and I haven't seen for over four months. This is the same woman who has refused to let me speak to my children on the phone since September 4, 2009. There is a picture of my children on the card and the card reads "Have fun this Holiday Season", from my Ex and my girls.

My Ex-wife said I was confrontational and unstable. She said that I was intimidating. Her family said some of the same things in the custody evaluation. My Ex and her family did everything in their power to make me out to be a bad father. They succeeded and as a result of their efforts, I have not seen my children in over four months. So what does she do at Christmas time? She sends cards with a picture of my girls that state, "Have fun this Holiday Season." The same person who worked to take away my little girls from me and my family is sending Christmas cards with her name on it. I would love to get pictures of the girls. My Ex didn't even send me a copy of my oldest daughter's kindergarten school picture. She sent copies to some of my family but not me. My oldest hasn't sent me one written letter since Judge James D Humphrey terminated my visitation. I receive letters written by my Ex that are "from" the girls.

My Ex stated in the custody evaluation that she thought I could have equal weekend time with the children "if I was stable." She even went as far as to sign extra documents during the child custody evaluation with Dr. Edward J Connor and successfully argued that the documents she signed prevented me from having access to the evaluation case file. She and Dr. Edward J Connor of Connor and Associates conspired to obstruct my access to the evaluation case file. My Ex and her family portrayed me as some kind of menacing madman. If she truly believed that I was dangerous and unstable, why would she be sending Christmas cards with pictures of my daughters to my family telling us to "Have Fun This Holiday Season"? Why does she continue to antagonize my family when she has the power to correct the situation to enable the girls to see their father? She doesn't want me to be a part of the girls' lives. She probably considers herself to be an independent single woman. She worked hard to make it that way.

This should serve as an important message for parents who are involved in a divorce and/or custody disputes. Don't use you children as ammunition. Don't use your children as bait. It's a bittersweet moment when you get the first picture of your children together in four months. You love to see your children but you remember how much it hurts that you haven't seen them. Every time I look at the picture of my girls, I have to read the Holiday Greeting from the person who refuses to let the children talk to me on the phone. If your wish is to hurt the other parent, be careful because your wish may come true and you may make your children fatherless.

I bet the girls had a good Christmas. I often wonder what her family thinks of the situation. I thought I had a good relationship with her extended family. They trusted me with their elderly uncle and his handicapped accessible van. They trusted me to give their children rides on four wheelers. They trusted me to watch their kids. I guess her extended family now believes that I am not capable of being a father to the girls just because my Ex says so. I couldn't imagine enabling my daughters to do what my Ex's family has enabled her to do. I would never lie about the father of my grandchildren just to help my daughter eliminate the father from the children's lives. That's what they did.

I made the most out of my Christmas. I had a good time spending Christmas with my family. We made the most out of Christmas despite not being able to see my daughters. The new year is coming and it will be a new year of opportunity and action. Hopefully it won't be long before a dad and his little girls are reunited. Merry Christmas my little angels, Daddy is still working hard to see you.

Dan Brewington

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