My daughter Mary turns seven today and I still can't see her and her sister. I still have a long hard battle in front of me because no one will let me see the evidence behind the court's findings that I have the potential to cause harm to my children. How does a father prove that he is not a potential danger to his children? I have a flawless parenting record, I've never been accused of abusing or neglecting my daughters, and during the course of a 2 1/2 year divorce, no one tried to modify or restrict my parenting time.
Judge Humphrey took away my children because he said that I may have the potential to harm them. He referred to Dr. Connor's testimony but wouldn't allow me to see Dr. Connor's records. How can I prove that I won't do something bad in the future; especially when there is no evidence that I did anything wrong in the first place? Dr. Connor testified that he thought that I "may" begin to coach my children against their mother. He was allowed to say these kinds of things and I had no way to dispute them. For some reason the fact that I never did these things was not sufficient to prove that I wouldn't do them in the future.
My ex wanted me out of my daughters' lives so she and Dr. Connor entered into different contracts and then used them to obstruct my access to evidence. When I questioned it, they attacked me. They claimed that the contract was the normal contract that was signed at the beginning of custody evaluations. Dr. Connor claimed that I couldn’t understand his policies no matter how many times he explained it to me. At the last minute, they said, "Oops, it was a mistake. Our bad" and then they claimed that I was paranoid because I felt they conspired against me. Dr. Connor said crazy things like my writings were similar to those of individuals who commit horrendous crimes against their families. My ex claimed that I became so verbally abusive that she had to take the children into the bathroom, lock the door, and run water in the tub and sing songs to the girls to block out the yelling. How do you refute lies like that? Bring in an FBI profiler to study my writings? If my ex was that afraid of me, why didn't she call 911? She didn't have any problems having me arrested for calling the girls on the phone, which was in line with the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines. Better yet, she told her story as if the locked bathroom door protected her and the children from terrible harm. As responsible parents, we always kept a key for the bathroom door handy in case the girls would lock themselves in. If her story was true, why wouldn’t I have unlocked the door? The better question is, if I was verbally abusive to the children or around the children, why was there no mention of my daughters ever being afraid or uncomfortable with me. In fact, Dr. Connor’s report stated that the girls were very comfortable with me and that I had excellent parenting skills. This is what I have to fight against. First they claimed that I didn't take the children to the doctor and then turned around and said that the only reason I took them to the doctor was to try to act like a primary parent. My ex said that the girls were not safe sleeping on the second floor at my house because I didn't properly block the steps. After I moved both of the girls' beds into my 15' x 25' bedroom and double gated the doorway, she expressed "concerns" about the girls' sleeping arrangements, but no one wanted to elaborate on what the "concerns" consisted of because there could be severe legal ramifications for "those kinds" of false accusations. When my ex claimed that I left firearms lying around the house after she filed for divorce, I bought a gun safe and moved my guns from the locked closet to the safe. Then I was accused of only getting the safe to appease her and she even listed the safe as a marital asset. In 2005, my ex called the police because she said I wouldn't let her leave with our daughter. When the police arrived, they made her leave, alone. When this was brought up in court, she and Dr. Connor claimed that the police officer, who is now the Sheriff of Ripley County, didn't ask her for her side of the story. When I received help from my mother during the divorce, they claimed I dumped my children on my mother. When my ex received help from her parents, they claimed it was necessary in order to help her out during the tough divorce. All of my "problems" were attributed to my "severe" ADHD. All of her problems were attributed to my "severe" ADHD. They said I did not take responsibility for my actions. They claimed that I was responsible for her problems. Now I have to overcome all of this without having access to the evidence that "supports" the allegations against me.
Here's my dilemma, for some reason showing up in court and demonstrating that I have never done any of the things that they say that I might do, is not a valid defense. No one ever claimed that I ever brought harm to my children; they just claimed that I "might" do it in the future. How long do I have to continue not harming or harassing people before a judge will determine that I am not going to begin to do the bad things that people are claiming that I “might” do? I don’t need a psychological evaluation; I need a fortune teller because I need someone who will testify that, in the future, I continue to conduct myself in a responsible and law abiding manner. Maybe by the time my daughters turn 18, people will realize that I have never nor will I ever do anything to hurt my children or anyone else. The people who are hurting my children are the people who are preventing my daughters from spending birthdays and holidays with their father. Happy 7th Birthday Mary. I’m still the kind and loving father that I was before the mean people took your daddy away. For more history on my story, go to www.danhelpskids.com.