How It Feels to Have ADHD

April 20, 2011

Transcribed

How it feels to have ADHD.

Imagine being locked in a small room with 5 radios that are set on different stations; all playing at the same time. Try adding a lawn mower to the mix. Then have someone randomly flush toilets and open and shut doors. Now imagine all of this commotion going on practically every moment of your life. Welcome to the world of this ADHD adult while in the Dearborn County Law Enforcement Center.

Commotion to an ADHD sufferer is either a thrill ride or a living hell; there really isn’t an “in between”. Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about. Prior to being treated for ADHD I worked at a bar/restaurant called Barleycorn’s. Nothing could be more hectic than working a short staffed, weekend nightshift. Non-stop action: bussing tables, taking orders, filling drinks, serving food etc.; all varying objects of endless chaos that I could take hold of, tackle, and conquer. The louder and busier, the better. On the flipside there are occasions where the commotion is hellish. I remember a specific day in an economics class when I attended the University of Cincinnati. I remember surveying the room and noticing that I was the only person not focusing on the lecture. How could I? Some of the students were sporadically clearing their throats. The windows were open, the sounds of a lawnmower were roaring in. And who could forget the clock on the wall that sounded like the Liberty Bell ringing on your head every time a hand moved? Probably everyone but me.

I’ve always said that prior to my ADHD treatment at The Affinity Center in Cincinnati, Ohio, my mind was like a tornado in a library. After being treated by The Affinity Center, my mind was like a tornado in a library but all the books were whirling into place. I could control and conquer the madness at Barleycorn’s but I didn’t stand a chance against the Liberty Bell and lawnmower during economics class. But it isn’t about controlling external elements it’s about trying to control an ADHD mind.

“How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes?” That’s my favorite ADHD joke because it explains how an ADHD mind often works. An ADHD mind is constantly being pummeled by interior and exterior stimuli. That’s what makes it so difficult for an ADHD mind to focus. It’s worse than my analogy about being locked in a room with the 5 radios, a lawnmower, etc.,, because the stimuli doesn’t stop there. My mind doesn’t hear “noise”, it hears many things going on at the same time and then it’s off to the races because the sound triggers a tidal wave of insignificant thoughts that I don’t have time to deal with. “Is the lawnmower engine a Honda or Briggs and Stratton?” “When was the last time I drained the oil in my lawnmower?” “I remember seeing the big windmills when my cousin Tony and I drove to Pennsylvania to pick up a golf course reel mower.” “I’d really like to go golfing right now.”

That’s how my mind operated before I was treated for ADHD by The Affinity Center in Cincinnati, Ohio. Through testing, therapy, and treatment, The Affinity Center helped me organize my mind. It was as if they installed a traffic cop in my mind that would block “nonessential” traffic; he just makes the traffic wait for an appropriate time to pass. When the information gets past the traffic cop, the librarian is there to put all to the books in place.

My mind flourished during the 9+ years of treatment at The Affinity Center. I had the opportunity to relearn how to learn. I no longer had to battle the nonessential stimuli that tried to break into my mind. I was committed to making my mind run as efficiently as possible. Everything was running smooth until Dearborn County Prosecutor Aaron Negangard had me arrested because I exercised my 1^st Amendment right to free speech. That’s when Sheriff Mike Kreinhop and the Dearborn County Law Enforcement Center decided to maliciously sabotage my mental health.

The DCLEC doctor, Nadir Al-Shami, graduated from school in Istanbul, Turkey in 1962. It may have been his fine 1960’s Turkish medical training that motivated Dr. Al-Shami to try to force me to abuse my Ritalin prescription. Dr. Al-Shami, won’t allow me to take my prescription as prescribed by my doctor. He even wants me to take Ritalin at night, just before bed so I would have no chance of sleeping. Since I am a person who refuses to abuse prescription medication, Dr. Nadir Al-Shami and the DCLEC are forcing me to go without my Ritalin because I refuse to take medication against my doctor’s orders. After being in the DCLEC, I have slowly found my way back into the room with all of the commotion. Why: Because Dearborn County punishes whistleblowers.

I’m not going to lie; it’s getting harder to function mentally. The “professionals” at the DCLEC think I do not need treatment because I look fine to them. I’m an upbeat person who is friendly to all so the DCLEC “professionals” do not believe that I suffer from severe ADHD. I guess they are waiting for me to be depressed or to get angry. Judge Humphrey terminated my parenting time because there were “fears” that I would not take my medication. Now the DCLEC won’t let me continue treatment for the condition that Judge Humphrey used to rationalize making two little girls fatherless. Now the blazing irony of the situation is that while the DCLEC is trying to torture me mentally, the DCLEC is demonstrating that I was justified in my public exposure revealing Judge Humphrey’s conduct. Now Dr. Nadir Al-Shami will be pitted against Judge James D. Humphrey because even the DCLEC doctor doesn’t believe that my ADHD, even while left untreated, is a danger to anyone. Keep digging your hole Dearborn County.